One of the most important relationships in everyone’s life is the relationship we have with ourselves. As we go on in life, we realize that we cannot rely on anyone to make us happy if we are not happy with ourselves. Here are some points I came up with that I think are very important in this self-relationship...
1. Talk to yourself
2. Guide yourself
3. Treat yourself
4. Take risks, if prepared
Talk to yourself. After all, every one knows communication is the key to success in every relationship right? And to be honest, who doesn’t. Talking to yourself helps you focus. Repeating things in your mind over and over, telling yourself words of encouragement will help you succeed in anything. Having faith in you! Saying things like “I can do this!” instead of the “I can’t,” makes a world of a difference. When you find yourself in a sticky situation, tell yourself you can overcome anything. Keep yourself calm and get all your thoughts together. Only you know what is right, for you, and what YOU want. Always listen to that gut feeling inside you; it’s always worked for me.
When you’re in the process of accomplishing something, guide yourself towards attaining this goal. Make a plan and stick to it. If it gets tough, remind yourself of times you’ve accomplished something amazing, or just stop, realize and acknowledge where you are in your life. Look around you and realize how far you’ve come, everything that you’ve worked for and appreciate how good you have it. After a major accomplishment or overcoming a tough situation, the sweetest pleasure and satisfaction is that you did it all by yourself.
Always treat yourself. Don’t rely on other people to give you your gold stars. Never rely on others acknowledgment for your efforts. Rely solely on the feeling you get after you’ve done something great. That sense of gratitude, satisfaction, empowerment, fulfillment and excitement. Even if no one notices your efforts, savor those feelings and use them as motivation. Treat yourself to whatever pleasures you. Whether it’s a manicure, a new pair of shoes (my fave), or even just take a deserving day off. Every time I buy a new pair of shoes, I tell myself “I deserve them, I deserve them!” These words also help overcome the feeling of guilt I get after I pay their price.
Take risks. After knowing how far you can go and what you are capable of overcoming, you are prepared to take risks. You are prepared to deal with the consequences. Take risks with positive expectations, but knowing that things may not turn out the way you plan them to. For example, I recently considered getting back on dating. I’ve been single for a year now and the thought of dating was just so frightening. I was afraid as any other girl who’d been through so many let-downs would be. One day, while having this conversation with my best friend, he tells me, “Why are you so afraid? You’ve been hurt so much that it’s made you so strong. And if you do get hurt again, you already know how to deal with it as you’ve already done so well.” He’s absolutely right. You have to just get out there, and if it goes good, great! If it goes bad, yes it will hurt, but it will make me stronger and it will be another growth experience. Experience is one of the best sources of knowledge and self-growth.
Grieve. When going through a painful situation like a break up, it is so extremely important to grieve and mourn the experience. Ignoring the pain only makes it worse and may even amplify the hurt and elongate the healing. I’m not saying dwell on it, but acknowledge it. Know that it will take time to heal, know that it will be painful and that you are going to take time to hurt and process the experience. Give yourself time even if it’s a few weeks. I always give myself a week. That first week I know I will be miserable, and I will hurt, but by the end of week 1, I feel better. “One week!” I tell myself. At the same time, appreciate those negative feelings knowing how they will be to your benefit. Remind yourself that you will be stronger, wiser, and more humble. Like they say, “the sweet wouldn’t be so sweet without the sour.”
Don’t ever be afraid of failing at something, it’s humbling and beneficial in so many extraordinary ways.
Remember that you can only rely on yourself. So make the relationship you have with you, a good positive, loving one.