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Love Love Love ... A single girls crazy little thoughts.

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Your relationship with you.

Thu, 09/23/2010 - 10:55AM by BBZ 0 Comments -

    One of the most important relationships in everyone’s life is the relationship we have with ourselves. As we go on in life, we realize that we cannot rely on anyone to make us happy if we are not happy with ourselves. Here are some points I came up with that I think are very important in this self-relationship...

1. Talk to yourself
2. Guide yourself
3. Treat yourself
4. Take risks, if prepared
5. Grieve


    Talk to yourself. After all, every one knows communication is the key to success in every relationship right? And to be honest, who doesn’t. Talking to yourself helps you focus. Repeating things in your mind over and over, telling yourself words of encouragement will help you succeed in anything. Having faith in you! Saying things like “I can do this!” instead of the “I can’t,” makes a world of a difference. When you find yourself in a sticky situation, tell yourself you can overcome anything. Keep yourself calm and get all your thoughts together. Only you know what is right, for you, and what YOU want. Always listen to that gut feeling inside you; it’s always worked for me.

    When you’re in the process of accomplishing something, guide yourself towards attaining this goal. Make a plan and stick to it. If it gets tough, remind yourself of times you’ve accomplished something amazing, or just stop, realize and acknowledge where you are in your life. Look around you and realize how far you’ve come, everything that you’ve worked for and appreciate how good you have it. After a major accomplishment or overcoming a tough situation, the sweetest pleasure and satisfaction is that you did it all by yourself.

    Always treat yourself. Don’t rely on other people to give you your gold stars. Never rely on others acknowledgment for your efforts. Rely solely on the feeling you get after you’ve done something great. That sense of gratitude, satisfaction, empowerment, fulfillment and excitement. Even if no one notices your efforts, savor those feelings and use them as motivation. Treat yourself to whatever pleasures you. Whether it’s a manicure, a new pair of shoes (my fave), or even just take a deserving day off. Every time I buy a new pair of shoes, I tell myself “I deserve them, I deserve them!” These words also help overcome the feeling of guilt I get after I pay their price.

    Take risks. After knowing how far you can go and what you are capable of overcoming, you are prepared to take risks. You are prepared to deal with the consequences. Take risks with positive expectations, but knowing that things may not turn out the way you plan them to. For example, I recently considered getting back on dating. I’ve been single for a year now and the thought of dating was just so frightening. I was afraid as any other girl who’d been through so many let-downs would be. One day, while having this conversation with my best friend, he tells me, “Why are you so afraid? You’ve been hurt so much that it’s made you so strong. And if you do get hurt again, you already know how to deal with it as you’ve already done so well.” He’s absolutely right. You have to just get out there, and if it goes good, great! If it goes bad, yes it will hurt, but it will make me stronger and it will be another growth experience. Experience is one of the best sources of knowledge and self-growth. 
   

   Grieve. When going through a painful situation like a break up, it is so extremely important to grieve and mourn the experience. Ignoring the pain only makes it worse and may even amplify the hurt and elongate the healing. I’m not saying dwell on it, but acknowledge it. Know that it will take time to heal, know that it will be painful and that you are going to take time to hurt and process the experience. Give yourself time even if it’s a few weeks. I always give myself a week. That first week I know I will be miserable, and I will hurt, but by the end of week 1, I feel better. “One week!” I tell myself. At the same time, appreciate those negative feelings knowing how they will be to your benefit. Remind yourself that you will be stronger, wiser, and more humble. Like they say, “the sweet wouldn’t be so sweet without the sour.”
Don’t ever be afraid of failing at something, it’s humbling and beneficial in so many extraordinary ways.

 Remember that you can only rely on yourself. So make the relationship you have with you, a good positive, loving one.

<3

 



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Single and loving it!

Sat, 03/13/2010 - 9:27PM by BBZ 0 Comments -

 

So, I woke up this morning and I followed my regular routine; make the coffee, clean up the apartment and headed to the gym. Somewhere in the process of it all, I got a little though in my head; I thought to myself, wow, this feels really great! I woke up with out having any guy in mind, not missing anyone, or thinking about anyone every second of my morning. I had the most fulfilled, serene feeling!

Don't get me wrong, I am the hugest fan of love. I love being in love and I do think that when you're in love, the world is so much better and amazing. But I truly also believe that you need to love yourself first in order to love someone else. Women, we fall quickly and deeply in love, and if you think of it, we spend most of our lives in love. Happily or unhappily we are always in love, it's in our nature. So these moments are rarely appreciated and sometimes even ignored. I though it was such a beautiful thing this morning to wake up and do what I wanted to do, what mattered to me and what made me happy. With out trying to please anyone and without worrying about anyone elses opinion.

Some women cannot be alone and hate the feeling of having no one. I do think that dependency on a companion is not a good thing. In order to have a well functioning relationship with a significant other, you must have your own life and your own independence. Specially women. Times like these should be so much appreciated! Times like these when you are single and loving it, are times when you should really find yourself, learn to love yourself and see how much you are worth. There is so much to gain  when you are single and so much to learn. Being an independent woman is such a beautiful thing. And your self-worth is something that no one should ever take from you.

So if you are single, appreciate it and look around you and all you have and all that you've worked for. Don't ever settle for less and remember to always love yourself!

 



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Falling without losing yourself

Thu, 02/18/2010 - 5:08PM by BBZ 0 Comments -

    Falling in love is such a blessing. "It makes the world go round", as people say. But how much is too much? I say everything in excess is bad for you, alcohol, excercise, work and yes even love. There comes a point where we sometimes fall inlove so deeply that we lose ourselves in this idea to where it almost becomes an obsession. We begin to eat, breath and live for the person we fall inlove with forgeting all about ourselves.

 Once your in deep, its hard to step out and find yourself. Falling inlove should never be an obsession, it should be a beautiful, possitive lifeststyle, in which both people adapt to eachothers lives without completely giving up one's life to live the other persons life. Giving up friends, family, alone time and things you like doing such as gym, hobbies etc. When a person gives these things up to be with their lover, it's only a recipe for disaster. So how can we manage?

 It starts from the beginning, when you've just met. You already have a routine day, your own friends, your job. Everything in your life is controlled by you, then you meet someone and you start getting serious. Your whole world may change, but you must maintain control over YOUR life. Slowly let this person become part of your everyday activities and keep them going. It is so important that you don't lose that control and become caged in a relationship. Don't lose yourself in love and let it become an obsession and an unhealthy relationship. Everyone needs some alone time. We are humans and we were born to love, but also to love ourselves. Alone time also allows you both to miss eachother and makes the time you spend together even more special. It is always important to maintain solid relationships with friends and family. It is possible to make this significant other a priority in your life and still keep alive the things that were important to you before this person came into your life. Remember, you can have multiple priorities not just one.

So happy loving friends and stay true to yourself!

<3 BBZ